…you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
…your office is better decorated than your apartment.
…you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the
progress of your own joke across the Internet.
…you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
…you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
…you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your
laptop.
…everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
…you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
…you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while
researching a single paper.
…there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider
“yours.”
…you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
…you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at
the library.
…you look forward to summers because you’re more productive
without the distraction of classes.
…you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
…you consider all papers to be works in progress.
…professors don’t really care when you turn in work anymore.
…you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than
the actual text.
…you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are
now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
…you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
…you reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you
realize that it’s a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
…you find yourself explaining to children that you are in “20th
grade”.
…you start refering to stories like “Snow White et al.”
…you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without
getting scurvy
…you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry
…you have more photocopy cards than credit cards
…you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as
“personal communication”

Fabulous Russian cakes, Vegetable sculptures, Questions NOT to ask at the job interview, I will take two, New dean, Blackmail, Adopted son, Are you choking?, Watermelon art, Your Mom doesn’t pick favorites, 41 facts about Washington, Chocolate as art, Cute baby stills, Early computer and software ads, Mother-in-law’s choice, Amuzing sandwiches, Explain THAT to your insurance company, Food sculptures, Windows, In-laws, Computers contrast, Worlds smartest man, 7 things that would happen if you were a computer, Talented engineer, 30 signs that technology has taken over your life, Microsoft landing, Golfing, 19 recommendations from men to women, Careful what you wish for, If men were in charge of weddings, Two new additions to periodic table of elements, Women talking, men hearing, Doctor’s help, How to read personal ads from women, Guest at a hotel, First date, Death Row in Women’s Prison, 12 things men know, Top male occupations, Car accident, What guys really mean, Las Vegas, Why married couples do not have sex, Letter from Wal-Mart, Dusty Underwear, Men and Women, Soup, Anniversary, University, New studio, Solid marriage, At the altar, Chances to get married, One kiss, Injury, 35 Predictions from 50’s, Top 10 signs your company is going to downsize, Top 10 signs you have eaten too much, 23 headlines of 2050, 53 signs you might have a drinking problem, 39 Headlines of the year, Let’s kill a bicycle repairman, 36 world’s smallest books, Commuting to work, Florist mixup, Job interview, Jamaica, The Weigh Scale, An expensive barbie doll, Psychology class, New driving test, Beautiful nature? No, just food, 34 Pacific Northwest jokes, 16 Montana rules, You know it’s July in Florida, Public school teacher, Great experiment, Laboratory, Thermometer, Poor man’s virus, Being old has some perks, Wrong bank, Definition of words used by women, 21 reasons why men are happier, Thoughtful husband, Four food groups for students, Gentlemen quiz, Blonde at a strip mall, Car hangers, Beach exercise, Wal-Mart announces house brand wine, Journey on a train carriage, Divorced barbie, Anxious cab driver, 75 things to do in a car, 8 Ways to be annoying in Australia, 554 ways to be annoying, Before and after marriage, Stoping a taxi, Eleven new drugs for women, Josh Groban | Noel

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