What engineers say and what they really mean

  1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still pissing in the wind.
  2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
  3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.
  4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
  5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
  6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
  7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
  8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person who understood the thing quit.
  9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
  10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
  11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let’s spread responsibility for the screw up
  12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what
    we’ve already done.
  13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can’t wait to hear this BS!
  14. SEE ME or LET’S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I’m lonely.
  15. ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
  16. RUGGED - Too damn heavy to lift!
  17. LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than RUGGED.
  18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - One finally worked.
  19. ENERGY SAVING - Achieved when the power switch is off.
  20. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.
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