Ways to Cope With Stress

1. Put miniature marshmallows in your ears, hum off-key loudly
2. Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.
3. When someone says “have a nice day”, tell them you have other plans.
4. Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
5. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.
6. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
7. Leaf through “National Geographic” and draw underwear on the natives.
8. Stick a post-it that says, “Out to Lunch” on your forehead.
9. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day
10. Buy a subscription to “Sleazoid Weekly” and send it to your boss’s wife.
11. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
12. Drive to work in reverse.
13. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
14. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
15. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
16. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
17. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
18. Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.
19. Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.
20. Call up everyone in your rolodex; when they answer, say, “I must have the wrong number!”