Types of Employee
Your boss is the biggest obstacle to workday leisure. He will try to make you work right up to – but not beyond – the point of death. This may not seem like an unfair generalization, because obviously it’s more economical for him to push the people who are approaching retirement age a little bit harder.
As an employee, you need a strategy for survival. You need to develop your ability to appear PRODUCTIVE without actually expending time or energy.
Based on painstaking research, it has been concluded that there are three types of employees :
those who work hard regardless of the compensation (IDIOTS)
those who avoid work, thus appearing lazy (IDIOTS)
those who avoid work while somehow appearing to be productive
How to pretend ? here are some tips :
BE A CONSULTANT ON A TEAM :
If you can’t be a manager, the next best way to avoid real work is to be an “”adviser”” to people who are doing the real work. Sounds familiar ? That’s what your mentors are doing to you, IDIOTS!
CHANGE JOBS FREQUENTLY:
The longer you stay in one job, the more work you’ll be asked to do. Sounds familiar ? That’s what your mentors are doing ! Two years is the most you should ever spend in the same job. Or else, you will become competent over time, and that’s as good as begging for more work.
COMPLAIN CONSTANTLY ABOUT YOUR WORKLOAD:
Take every opportunity to complain the unreasonable demands that are being placed on you. Reinforce your message during every interaction with a co-worker or manager. Over time, these messages will work themselves into the subconcious of everybody around you and they will come to think of you as a hard worker without ever seeing a scrap of physical evidence to support the theory.
ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE AT MEETING:
Come to the meeting late and leave early. This leaves the impression that you are are so busy you can’t do everything. The first part of a meeting is useless and the last part of a meeting is when the assignments are handed out. That is wasted time for a busy person such as yourself.