Top 10 Things Heard At the Microsoft Trial

10. “Anybody see ‘Ally McBeal’ last night?”
9. “I’ll see your software bundle and raise you a $500
thumbtack.”
8. “Where do I want to go today? Same as yesterday–steaks.”
7. “It’s not a ‘goofy wire.’ It’s a perky, animated paperclip,
and Bill happens to like it.”
6. “Now double-click the icon…just click twice…it’s that
“world” thing…now click again…awwww, I’ll do it.”
5. “We appreciate that Bill hangs out with Noam Chomsky, but
we’re sticking with Webster’s definition of ‘is.’”
4. “Idiot, you’re supposed to reduce the lemon sauce before
you sear the salmon. My chef used to work at Morton’s.”
3. “Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
Hahahaha.”
2. “We’re prepared to say, ‘Microsoft is sorta a monopoly.’”
1. “That’s it for today. Let’s go screw with the press.”