The results of the X-ray

Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show?

Doctor: Absolutely nothing!

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Patient: doctor doctor everyone's ignoring me...
Doctor: next please!

and also

Patient: doctor doctor i think i'm a dog...
Doctor: well take a seat...
Patient: but i'm not allowed on the furniture!
Doctor: how long have you known this?
Patient: ever since i was a puppy!