The Female Stages of Life

Favorite drink:
Age 17: Wine Coolers
Age 25: White wine
Age 35: Red wine
Age 48: Dom Perignon
Age 66: Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

Excuses for refusing dates:
17: Need to wash my hair
25: Need to wash and condition my hair
35: Need to colour my hair
48: Need to have Francois color my hair
66: Need to have Francois color my wig

Favorite sport:
17: Shopping
25: Shopping
35: Shopping
48: Shopping
66: Shopping

Definition of successful date:
17: “Burger King”
25: “Free meal”
35: “A diamond”
48: “A bigger diamond”
66: “Home Alone”

Favorite fantasy:
17: tall, dark and handsome
25: tall, dark and handsome with money
35: tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48: a man with hair (preferably not on back)
66: a man

Pet:
17: Muffy the cat
25: Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35: Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
48: Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
66: Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the Cat

Ideal age for marriage:
17: 17
25: 25
35: 35
48: 48
66: 66

Ideal date:
17: He offers to pay
25: He pays
35: He cooks breakfast the next morning
48: He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66: He can chew breakfast