The Bachelor’s Diet
BREAKFAST – Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth
LUNCH – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.
AFTERNOON SNACK – Drink the maalox
DINNER – Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don’t eat the coleslaw.
BREAKFAST – Eat the coleslaw
LUNCH – Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
DINNER – Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho’s.
BREAKFAST – Jaws couldn’t eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho’s
LUNCH – Rolaids and a coke
DINNER – Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps
BREAKFAST – Order out for pizza
LUNCH – Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.
DINNER – Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.
BREAKFAST – Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it’s better for you.
LUNCH – Skip lunch, Fridays are murder
DINNER – Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don’t eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.
BREAKFAST – Sleep through it.
LUNCH – Ditto
DINNER – Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.
BREAKFAST – Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.
LUNCH – Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.
DINNER – Chicken noodle soup – Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.