Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures? 

-Your last name stays put. 

-The garage is all yours. 

-Wedding plans take care of themselves.    
-Chocolate is just another snack. 

-You can be President. 

-You can never be pregnant. 

-You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. 

-You can wear NO shirt to a water park. 

-Car mechanics tell you the truth. 

-The world is your urinal. 

-You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. 

-You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 

-Same work, more pay. 

-Wrinkles add character. 

-Wedding dress $5000.  Tux rental-$100. 

-People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. 

-The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 

-New shoes don’t cut , blister, or mangle your feet. 

-One mood all the time.                                        
-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 

-You know stuff about tanks. 

-A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 

-You can open all your own jars. 

-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 

-If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.                                                            
-Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. 

-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 

-You almost never have strap problems in public. 
-You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. 

-Everything on your face stays its original color. 

-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.   
-You only have to shave your face and neck.                                
-You can play with toys all your life. 

-Your belly usually hides your big hips. 

-One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons. 
-You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. 

-You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. 

-You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.                                                                 
-You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.                   

No wonder men are happier.