1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at
them.

3. It’s considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed it’s time to change
sheets.

5. Even if you’re CERTAIN that you are included in the will
… it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the
funeral.

DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper
cup and pour slowly so as not to “bruise” the fruit of the
vine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with
your fingers covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should NEVER be prepared by a
taxidermist.

2. Do NOT allow the dog to eat at the table … no matter
how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job
that should done in private using one’s OWN truck keys.

2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for
several days. However if you live alone, deodorant is a waste
of money.

3. Dirt & grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as
it tends to detract from a woman’s jewelry & alter the taste
of finger foods.

DATING (OUTSIDE THE FAMILY)

1. Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the
first date.

2. Be aggressive. Let her know you’re interested: “I’ve been
wantin’ to go out with you since I read that stuff on the
bathroom wall two years ago.

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected
back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say “Monday”. If
the latter is the answer it is the man’s responsibility to
get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up
as soon as the movie has ended.

2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests
have proven they cannot hear you.

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you
shot.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with
a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky
appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say “yes” to socks & shoes for this
special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the
gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the
largest tires ALWAYS has the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it
is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

5. Do NOT lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

Chocolate as art, Cute baby stills, Early computer and software ads, Mother-in-law’s choice, Amuzing sandwiches, Explain THAT to your insurance company, Food sculptures, Windows, In-laws, Computers contrast, Worlds smartest man, 7 things that would happen if you were a computer, Talented engineer, 30 signs that technology has taken over your life, Microsoft landing, Golfing, 19 recommendations from men to women, Careful what you wish for, If men were in charge of weddings, Two new additions to periodic table of elements, 29 rules of dating for women, Women talking, men hearing, Doctor’s help, How to read personal ads from women, Guest at a hotel, First date, Death Row in Women’s Prison, 12 things men know, Top male occupations, Car accident, What guys really mean, Las Vegas, Why married couples do not have sex, Letter from Wal-Mart, Dusty Underwear, Men and Women, Soup, Anniversary, University, New studio, Solid marriage, At the altar, Chances to get married, One kiss, Injury, 35 Predictions from 50’s, Top 10 signs your company is going to downsize, Top 10 signs you have eaten too much, 23 headlines of 2050, 53 signs you might have a drinking problem, 39 Headlines of the year, Let’s kill a bicycle repairman, 36 world’s smallest books, Commuting to work, Florist mixup, Job interview, Jamaica, The Weigh Scale, An expensive barbie doll, Psychology class, New driving test, Beautiful nature? No, just food, 34 Pacific Northwest jokes, 16 Montana rules, You know it’s July in Florida, Public school teacher, Great experiment, Laboratory, Thermometer, Poor man’s virus, Being old has some perks, Wrong bank, Definition of words used by women, 21 reasons why men are happier, Thoughtful husband, Four food groups for students, Gentlemen quiz, Blonde at a strip mall, Car hangers, Beach exercise, Wal-Mart announces house brand wine, Journey on a train carriage, Divorced barbie, Anxious cab driver, 75 things to do in a car, 8 Ways to be annoying in Australia, 554 ways to be annoying, Before and after marriage, Stoping a taxi, Eleven new drugs for women, Top ten things not to say on your Anniversary, The ten most wanted men, Think you have a cold day?, Secluded vacation, Witty ads from around the world, Cute babies, Perfect timing!, 15 ways to tell if someone is a teenager, Texas justice, 12 Lawyer Joke, Josh Groban | Noel

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