How to Confuse People in the Computer Lab

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “NO!!! They’ve found me!” and bolt.

Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it’s set up with.

Bring a chainsaw, but don’t use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say “Just in case…”

Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your pants and say, “Oops, I forgot.”

Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the floppy disc drive, when it doesn’t work, get the supervisor.

Assign a musical note to every key (i.e. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

Borrow someone else’s keyboard by reaching over, saying “Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?”, unplugging the keyboard and taking it.

Run into the computer lab, shout “Armageddon is here!” and then calmly sit down and begin to type.