How many college students does it take to change a light bulb?

  • Vanderbilt: Two–one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay the bill 
  • Princeton: Two–one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician 
  • Brown: Eleven–one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience 
  • Dartmouth: None–Hanover doesn’t have electricity 
  • Cornell: Two–One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure 
  • Penn: Only one, but he gets six credits for it 
  • Columbia: Seventy-six– one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb’s right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest 
  • Yale: None–New Haven looks better in the dark 
  • Harvard: One–he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him 
  • MIT: Five–one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked lightbulb two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch 
  • Vassar: Eleven–one to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation 
  • Middlebury: Five–One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion Stanford: One, dude 
  • Oberlin: Three–one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one 
  • Georgetown: Four–one to change it, one to call Congress about their  progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the American U. students
  • Duke: A whole frat–but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket 
  • Williams: The whole student body–when you’re snowed in, there’s nothing else to do 
  • Tufts: Two–one to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student 
  • University of New Hampshire, Durham: Four–one to walk to the general  store and have them order a lightbulb from Concord, one to pick it up in 6-8 weeks, one to screw it in, and one to go to his class and sleep for him while he is doing it 
  • Sarah Lawrence: Five–one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it 
  • Swarthmore: Eight–it’s not that one isn’t smart enough to do it, it’s just that they’re all violently twitching from too much stress 
  • Boston University: Three–one to change the bulb and two to check his math homework 
  • Wesleyan: Wesleyan’s boycotting GE… you know,military-industrial complex and all that 
  • Connecticut College: Two–one to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at a better school the light bulb wouldn’t go out 
  • Virginia: Thirteen–Ten to form student committee to vote on whether changing light bulbs is a violation of the Honor Code, one to change the bulb, one to hold the keg the he’s standing on, and another to attribute electricity to Mr.Jefferson. 
  • Bowdoin: Three–one to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb,one to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in 
  • Boston College: Seven–one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn’t screw it in upside down this time 
  • Santa Clara University: One–but you would never know about it because only Cal and Stanford gets press for changing their lightbulbs 
  • West Virginia University: Light bulb? Whats a light bulb….? We don’t have those in West Virginia. We use coal oil lamps.
Questions NOT to ask at the job interview, I will take two, New dean, Blackmail, Adopted son, Are you choking?, Watermelon art, Your Mom doesn’t pick favorites, 41 facts about Washington, Chocolate as art, Cute baby stills, Early computer and software ads, Mother-in-law’s choice, Amuzing sandwiches, Explain THAT to your insurance company, Food sculptures, Windows, In-laws, Computers contrast, Worlds smartest man, 7 things that would happen if you were a computer, Talented engineer, 30 signs that technology has taken over your life, Microsoft landing, Golfing, 19 recommendations from men to women, Careful what you wish for, If men were in charge of weddings, Two new additions to periodic table of elements, Women talking, men hearing, Doctor’s help, How to read personal ads from women, Guest at a hotel, First date, Death Row in Women’s Prison, 12 things men know, Top male occupations, Car accident, What guys really mean, Las Vegas, Why married couples do not have sex, Letter from Wal-Mart, Dusty Underwear, Men and Women, Soup, Anniversary, University, New studio, Solid marriage, At the altar, Chances to get married, One kiss, Injury, 35 Predictions from 50’s, Top 10 signs your company is going to downsize, Top 10 signs you have eaten too much, 23 headlines of 2050, 53 signs you might have a drinking problem, 39 Headlines of the year, Let’s kill a bicycle repairman, 36 world’s smallest books, Commuting to work, Florist mixup, Job interview, Jamaica, The Weigh Scale, An expensive barbie doll, Psychology class, New driving test, Beautiful nature? No, just food, 34 Pacific Northwest jokes, 16 Montana rules, You know it’s July in Florida, Public school teacher, Great experiment, Laboratory, Thermometer, Poor man’s virus, Being old has some perks, Wrong bank, Definition of words used by women, 21 reasons why men are happier, Thoughtful husband, Four food groups for students, Gentlemen quiz, Blonde at a strip mall, Car hangers, Beach exercise, Wal-Mart announces house brand wine, Journey on a train carriage, Divorced barbie, Anxious cab driver, 75 things to do in a car, 8 Ways to be annoying in Australia, 554 ways to be annoying, Before and after marriage, Stoping a taxi, Eleven new drugs for women, Top ten things not to say on your Anniversary, The ten most wanted men, Josh Groban | Noel

No Comments

Leave a Comment


trackback address


Browse by category

Latest new jokes

Vitamin B Complex - B-Complex Vitamins
Natural Bad Breath Remedies - There are many natural bad breath remedies. Some of them may work, at least to a certain extent, while others fail to cover bad breath for more than a few minutes. Many natural remedies are impractical, requiring the use of products that aren't usually
Long Island Home Theatre Installers - The choices available to Long Island consumers looking to install home theatres and/or flat-screen TVs today are simply incredible. The advent of flat-screen technology, in particular, has truly changed the way that the TV room (or any other room, for th
Amino Acids - Amino Acid Supplement - a closer look at supplements.