That was funny

“This little computer,” said the sales clerk, “will do half your job for you.”
Studying the machine the senior VP decided, “Fine, I’ll take two.”

Listening to the commencement address by the new dean, Professor Papp turned to a woman sitting beside him.
“Can you believe that the trustees named someone so ugly to be our new dean?”
Stiffening, the woman said, “I beg your pardon, but do you know who I am?”
Turning to study her, the professor replied, “Can’t say I [...]

“Hey, Mom,” asked Ralph. “Will you lend me five dollars?”
“Certainly not.”
“If you do,” he went on, “I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”
The woman’s ears perked and, grabbing her pocketbook, she handed over the money. “Well? What did he say?”
“He said, “Hey, Marion, make sure [...]

The backwoods couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called adn told them they had a wonderful Japanese boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way back home, they stopped by the local college to enroll in night courses.
After they [...]

Out to lunch one day, the immigrants were having a fine time until Hymie began to gag.
“I think I svallowed a bone,” Hymie gasped.
“Hymie,” said Miklos, “are you choking?”
“No, I am serious!”