Explain THAT to your insurance company
Weirdest traffic accidents and most unbelievable parking jobs.
Windows
Tech Support: “Do you have any windows open right now?” Customer: “Are you crazy woman, it’s twenty below outside!”
In-laws
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
Computers contrast
In Computer Heaven: The management is from Intel, The design and construction is done by Apple, The marketing is done by Microsoft, IBM provides the support, Gateway determines the pricing. In Computer Hell: The management is from Apple, Microsoft does design and construction, IBM handles the marketing, The support is from Gateway, Intel sets the [...]
World’s smartest man
A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions. Suddenly, the pilot ran back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. “There are only enough parachutes [...]
7 things that would happen if you were a computer
You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel. You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it! You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings. You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy. You could click on “find” (Ctrl, [...]
Talented engineer
The authorities were leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They asked the priest if he wanted to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest said that he would like to face up so that he will be looking toward heaven when he dies. So, they raise [...]
30 signs that technology has taken over your life
1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty’s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* [...]