That was funny

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in [...]

Two kids went into their parents bathroom and noticed the weigh scale in the corner. “Whatever you do,” cautioned one youngster to the other, “Don’t step on it!”
“Why not?” asked the sibling.
“Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful scream!”

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager “How much is that new Barbie in the window?”
The [...]

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
A young man [...]

A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
“What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?” asks the police officer.
“I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.”
“Oh yeah? Let’s see you do it,” says the officer.
So the juggler gets out and starts juggling [...]

You know the state flower is mildew.
You know the state motto: “Rain? What rain?”
You have a T-shirt that says, “200 Billion Slugs Can’t Be Wrong!”
You use the term “sun break” and know what it means.
You open the windows in the summer to let the warm air in.
Your Early Girl tomatoes ripen in September.
Names like [...]

1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.
2. Let’s get this straight; it’s called a “gravel road.” I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are horses, cattle [...]

Hot water comes out of both taps.
You find out that a seatbelt buckle makes a pretty nice branding iron.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
You find out that you can get sunburned through your car window.
The birds need to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
You burn your hand opening the car door.
The [...]

At New York’s Kennedy airport today an individual, later discovered [...]