That was funny

Company Softball Team is converted to a Chess Club.
Dr.Kevorkian is hired as an “Outplacement Coordinator”.
Your best looking women in Marketing are suddenly very friendly with the dorky Personnel Manager.
The beer supplied by the Company at picnics is Schlitz.
Weekly yard/bake sale at Corporate Headquarters.
Company President now driving a Ford Escort.
Annual [...]

You ate the turkey, the pop-up thermometer and the plastic net
Last thing you remember is positioning your open mouth behind a dump truck full of yams
All your silverware is worn down to tiny stumps
While picking your teeth, you dislodge an angry construction worker
Strangers keep addressing you as “Mr. President”
This morning, the display on your bathroom [...]

Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten Crops, Livestock
Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen
Great and Benevolent Galactic Ruler Reveals That Anal Probes Were
“Just For Fun”
Mother Monica Dies: Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums Overcame Lurid Past
With US President
Wealthy Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome Young Actor. “This
Is True Love,” He Beams.
[...]

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
Career won’t progress beyond Senator from Massachusettes.
The back of your head keeps getting hit [...]

1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
3. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
5. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
6. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
9. Panda Mating Fails; [...]

President Bush and Dick Cheney, were sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, “Isn’t that Bush and Cheney sitting over there?”The barman looks over and confirms, “Yep, that’s them.”
So the guy walks over and says, “Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?”Bush checks to [...]

The Code of Ethics for Lawyers
The Australian Book of Foreplay
The Book of Motivated Postal Workers
Americans’ Guide to Etiquette
The World Guide to Good American Beer
Royal Family’s Guide to Good Marriages
Safe Places to Travel in the USA
Bill Clinton: A Portrait of Integrity
Jerry Garcia’s Guide to Beating Drug Addiction
Contraception by Pope John Paul II
Cooking Gourmet Dishes With Tofu
The [...]

A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. Thinking it would make the trip more bearable, he invited several coworkers to share the ride. However, the commute actually got more stressful, especially the [...]

A florist received an outraged telephone call from a man who had moved his restaurant to a new spot in town. The restaurant owner had been sent a funeral wreath along with a card that read:
SINCEREST SYMPATHIES.
The florist realized that he must have mixed up two orders and shuddered to think of the flowers that [...]

A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.
“I must say,” says the executive, “your work history is terrible. You’ve been fired from every [...]