That was funny

Three women are about to be executed. One’’s a brunette, one’’s a redhead, and one’’s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim…”
Suddenly the brunette yells, “EARTHQUAKE!!!”
Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while [...]

Men know that Mother Nature’s best aphrodisiac is still a naked woman.
Men know that PMS is Mother Nature’s way of telling you to get out of the house.
Men know that if she looks like your mother, run.
Men know that there are at least three sides to every story: His, hers, and the truth.
Men know never [...]

The Doctor because he says, “Take off your clothes”
The Dentist because he says, “Open Wide”
The Hairdresser because he says, “Do you want it teased or blown”
The Milkman because he says, “Do you want it in front or in back?”
The Interior Decorator because he says, “Once you have it all in, you’ll love it.”
The Banker because [...]

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be [...]

When you catch a guy glancing at you, he’s actually wondering what you look like naked.
When a guy bumps into your arm while walking with you, it means your too damn close so back up 3 steps.
When a guy wants a hug he’ll go to the nudy bar and buy a lap dance.
When u break a guys heart he [...]

A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. “Where are you going?” he asked.
“To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $400 to do what I do for you for free!”
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. “What do [...]

Dear Wife,
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were just cleaned
17 times it was too late
49 times you [...]

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets so bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton gets this letter from Wal-Mart:
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, [...]

One evening a husband, thinking it would be being funny, said to his wife “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!” His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the [...]

Relationships
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled “All Men Are Idiots”. Then she will get on with her life.
A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, [...]