Leroy’s homework assignment
Leroy is given a homework assignment. Still befuddled by the whole school thing, Leroy is a trooper. He was given another set of vocabulary words to use in sentences. Here’s what he handed in: HONOR ROLL – We was playin poker on the stoop the other day, man I was HONOROLL. PLANET – I got [...]
Kid’s books that should never be written
‘You Were an Accident’ ‘Strangers Have the Best Candy’ ‘The Little Sissy Who Snitched’ ‘Some Kittens Can Fly!’ ‘The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion’ ‘How to Dress Sexy for Grownups’ ‘Getting More Chocolate on Your Face’ ‘Where Would You Like to Be Buried?’ ‘Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her’ ‘The Attention [...]
At the zoo with dad
A five year old boy was living with his mother, as his parents had divorced. One Sunday, she decided to take him to the zoo for the first time in his life. As they passed the various assortment of animals, she would tell the little boy what they were called and make him repeat it. [...]
Blonde cop
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer (also a blonde). The cop asked to see the blonde’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. “What does it look like?” she finally asked. The [...]
Best kept secret
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. ‘No woman,’ said one man, scornfully, ‘can keep a secret.’ ‘I don’t know about that,’ answered a blonde woman guest. ‘I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.’ ‘You’ll let it out some day,’ the [...]
Alligator shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll [...]
The Law of the Jungle
Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes. His friend looked at him. ”Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?” ”I [...]
Make a sentence
Children were called upon in a classroom to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher. The teacher smiled when Jack raised his hand to participate. She gave him the words ‘defeat,’ ‘deduct,’ ‘defense,’ and ‘detail.’ Jack stood seriously for a while with all eyes focused on him awaiting his reply: ”Defeat of deduct went [...]
A Lesson
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the [...]
The prison hospital
Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You’ve already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place! Doctor: I am, bit by bit.