A woman’s ultimate fantasy
In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman’s ultimate fantasy. 98.8% of the respondents said that a woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in [...]
Men are like…
Men are like….Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like ….Vacations. They never seem long enough. Men are like….Bank machines.Once they withdraw they lose interest. Men are like ….Weather. Nothing can be done about either one of them. Men are like….Blenders. You need one but your not quite sure why. [...]
18 rules for a guy
Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: When a heroic dog dies to save it’s master The moment Angelina Jolie starts [...]
Women’s rights
The following took place at an international conference for women’s rights. The first speaker, a lady from England stood and said, “During last year’s conference, we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference, I went home and told my husband, Barrington, that I would no longer cook for him and [...]
Why married women get heavy
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women? A. Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed, and they go to the fridge.
Why bikes are better than women
1. Bicycles don’t pregnant. 2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month. 3. Bicycles don’t have parents. 4. Bicycles don’t whine unless something is really wrong. 5. You can share your bicycles with your friends. 6. Bicycles don’t care how many other bicycles you’ve ridden. 7. When riding, you and your bicycle [...]
Food quotes, quips, and thoughts
“Artichokes … are just plain annoying … After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual ‘food’ out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead.” — Miss Piggy “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 [...]
Engineers are cooking
Chocolate Chip Cookies: Ingredients: 1. 532.35 cm3 gluten 2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3 3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite 4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride 5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11 6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11 7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde 8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein 9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao 10. [...]
The eight worst convenience foods
And I thought nothing could top Hormel’s pickled eggs … 8. Meeter’s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that’s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure [...]
Ten dollar flight
Stumpy Grider and his Wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy said “Ya know Mahtha, Ah’d like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane”. Every year Martha would say, “Ah know, Stumpy, but that aihplane ride costs ten dollahs…and ten dollahs is ten [...]