That was funny

A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and said, “I’m looking for a spouse. Can you please help me find a suitable one?”
The marriage officer said, “Your requirements please.”
“Well, let me see. He needs to be good-looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. He has to be willing to accompany [...]

Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.
Son, if you really want [...]