That was funny

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Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
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While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him [...]

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office.
“What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.”
“Well,” the young man replied, “in [...]

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. She found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald’s in Florida… and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to [...]

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired [...]

* If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE.
* If your wristwatch has more computing power than a 486DX-50.
* If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
* If you can name 6 Star [...]

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate.
I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.
I was a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. It was a so-so job.
I worked in [...]

McDonalds…$5
Pizza…$10
KFC…$15
Getting fat priceless… there are some things that money can’t buy for everything else there’s Master Card!

I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
I will get dressed before noon.
I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even [...]

“Open seven days a week. Closed Sundays.” On the bottom of a pizza parlor’s take-out menu.
“Parking for drive-through customers only.” A sign at a McDonald’s in California.
“We are Handicapped - Friendly. For example, if you are blind, we will read the menu for you.” A notice in a restaurant.
“Eat Here - Get Gas” A sign [...]