30 Facts About Men
1. Why does a man have a clear conscience? Because it’s never used. 2. Why are men so happy? Because ignorance is bliss. 3. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it’s time to go back to childhood, he’s already there. 4. If a man and a [...]
Good Investment
The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter. In his highly aroused state, he readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc. [...]
US Air Force Issues
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. Problem: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.” Solution: “Almost replaced left inside main tire.” Problem: “Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.” Solution: “Autoland not installed on this aircraft.” Problem: “The autopilot doesn’t.” Signed off: [...]
18 Things a Guy Learned From Action Movies
1. No matter what my problem is, it’s the fault of someone other than myself, and the appropriate response is to find that person and kill him with my bare hands. 2. To be truly attractive, a woman must wear high heels and an outfit so tight you can tell whether she’s cold or not [...]
Questions About Unix
Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX: Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program? Abbott: Yes, that’s correct. Costello: No, what is it? Abbott: Yes. Costello: So, which is the one? Abbott: No. ‘which’ is used to find the program. Costello: Stop this. Who are you? [...]
Thirty Years…
What a Difference 30 Years Makes… 1970: Long Hair 2000: Longing for hair 1970: The perfect high 2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund 1970: Keg 2000: EKG 1970: Acid Rock 2000: Acid Reflux 1970: Moving to California because it’s cool 2000: Moving to California because it’s warm 1970: Growing pot 2000: Growing pot belly [...]