That was funny

1. Lower corner of screen has the words “Etch-a-sketch” on it.
2. It’s celebrity spokesman is that “Hey Vern!” guy.
3. In order to start it you need some jumper cables and a friend’s car.
4. It’s slogan is “Pentium: redefining mathematics”.
5. The [...]

You hand a bank teller an envelope,
and when she asks, “What’s this?”
you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox
and gave her your mail.
As a woman comes into the store,
you turn to the other salesman and say,
“I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn!”
Your boss is standing behind [...]

A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.
A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
A diplomat is [...]

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.
“I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up.”
Nine hands went up.
“Why didn’t you put [...]

Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:
Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.
Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.
Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the [...]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive, blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again [...]

Did you hear about the kid who was pulled over for speeding?
The cop got out of his car and the young man rolled down his window.
“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.
The guy replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the [...]

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. An Irish cop pulls him over.
“So,” says the cop to the driver, “where have you been?”
“I’ve been to the pub,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few.
“I did all right,” the [...]

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this FBI?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.” “This will be noted.”
Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of [...]

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth was a Government Worker.
To show off, the Engineer called to his dog, “T-square, do your stuff!”. T-square trotted over to a desk, took out [...]