That was funny

1. A helicopter will kill you quickly . . . a woman takes
her time.
2. Helicopters can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
3. A helicopter does not get mad if you ‘touch and go.’
4. A helicopter does not object to a preflight inspection.
5. Helicopters come with manuals.
6. Helicopters have strict weight and balance [...]

Women:
1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since
the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
maintained vehicle.
Money Spent:
$20.00 Oil Change
$1.00 Coffee
—————-
$21.00 Total
Men:
1. Go to auto parts store and write a
check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand
cleaner [...]

1. He wants to buy an old Cesna, paintit flashy colors, and call it Air Force ‘95.
2. He heard that some government agencies were using UNIX.
3. He wants to get that illegal sports car in SF Bay into the US.
4. He just thinks [...]

10. First-hand knowledge of domestic affairs
9. Pay is lousy, but the hush money is great
8. Gives new meaning to MTV slogan “Rock the Vote”
7. Observe the President’s commitment to young people first hand
6. Learn intricacies of statutory rape law
5. Have president chase around desk brandishing his “subpoena”
4. President tells you he really wants you on [...]

1. Your opening line is, “So what’s your home page address?
2. Your best friend is someone you’ve never met.
3. You see a beautiful sunset and you expect to see “Enhanced for Netscape 1.1″ on the clouds.
4. You are overcome with disbelief, anger and [...]

10. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in hysterical laughter.
9. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance.
8. Your only charge cards are for the Salvation Army, ARC, and DAV thrift stores.
7. You work full time and you still qualify for food stamps.
6. You empty out your piggy [...]

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an
accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself.
“I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly,
I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.”
“Excuse me?” [...]

1. The world does revolve around us… We choose the coordinate system
2. No “couple” enjoy a better “moment”
3. We know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship
4. We have significant figures
5. EK301: The motion of rigid bodies
6. Projectile motion: Do we need to say more?
7. Engineers do it to specification
8. According to Newton, [...]

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.
“I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up.”
Nine hands went up.
“Why didn’t you put [...]

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy you hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage Not something you did to a [...]