That was funny

There’s a story about an MIT student who spent an entire summer going
to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white
striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen
minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and
then walking off the field. At the end of the [...]

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of
work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave
him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep the store.”
“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” [...]

Here is a list of the ways professors grade their final exams:
Dept Of Statistics:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
Dept Of Psychology:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and
turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first
grade that comes to mind.
Dept Of History:
All students get [...]

A graduation ceremony is where a well know commencement speaker tells
hundreds of graduates all dressed exactly the same that individuality is
what make the world tick and the key to their success.
Now-a-Days when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs, I
wonder if they ponder the same thing I do — Is that a [...]

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test [...]

* A student enters his dorm room and finds a note on his bed from
his roommate: “If I’m studying when you get back, please wake me.”
[...]

10. You cry for your mother.
9. You cross the street without looking for cars.
8. Snack time is a necessity.
7. You bundle up for the outdoors without caring what you look like (because
everyone else looks as stupid as you do).
6. You stay at home and play games [...]

Because I’m a guy, I must hold the television remote control
in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced,
I’ll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was
able to survive by holding a calculator.
Because I’m a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will
fiddle with [...]

1. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
2. I hate everybody, and you’re next.
3. And your point is…?
4. I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re OK now.
5. I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.
6. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it!
7. Remember my name — you’ll be screaming it later.
8. Don’t [...]

1. We know stuff about tanks
2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase
3. We can open all our own jars
4. We can go to the bathroom without a support group
5. We don’t have to learn to spell a new last name
6. We can leave a motel bed unmade
7. We can kill our own food
8. [...]