That was funny

Men are biologically incapable of letting a women light a barbecue.
Men drive to a party, women drive back.
Heterosexual women are not frightened of lesbians, whereas heterosexual men are terrified of homosexuals - once they are pointed out to them, by women.
Men have flu, women have colds. [...]

1. Laugh a lot
2. Read the newspaper
3. Care about something
4. Like the way I look in sweatpants
5. Sing along with the radio…LOUDLY
6. Know that I sing along with the radio…LOUDLY
7. Know how to dance
8. Never forget that there’s a “friend” in “boyfriend”
9. Know that “hearing” and “listening” [...]

The Women World Congress has been gathered.
The agenda:
1. All men are jerks.
2. There’s nothing to wear.
3. Miscellaneous.

“I’m going fishing.”
Really means…
“I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a
stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”
“Let’s take your car.”
Really means….
“Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.”
“Woman driver.”
Really means….
“Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene [...]

1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.
2. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.
3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
4. Flights never leave from [...]

Joe Smith started the day early, having set his alarm clock (made in Japan), for 600 A.M. While his coffee pot (made in Japan), is perking, he puts his blow dryer (made in Taiwan) to work and shaves with his electric razor (made in Hong Kong). He puts on a dress shirt (made in Taiwan), [...]

A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops. They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. Apparently he’d
been washing his hair. [...]

When I first started college, the Dean came in and said “Good Morning” to
all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded “Ah, you’re Freshmen.”
He explained. “When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good
morning back, it’s Freshmen. When they put their newspapers down and open
their books, it’s Sophomores. When [...]

1. Buying books at the BU bookstore is like a physical challenge in Double Dare.
2. Entering the residence hall requires more identification that passing through customs.
3. Escalators that don’t escalate.
4. Our largest area of green grass can be counted, blade for blade, as you pass it by.
5. The highest number of Porsches and BMW’s + [...]

Old grad comes to visit the campus, talks with a philosophy professor who is grading a test.
“Why this is the same test that I took here 30 years ago! They’re
exactly the same questions. Don’t you think that the students know the
questions by now?”
“Don’t worry,” said the professor. “We keep the questions, but [...]