That was funny

The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.
1. It’s an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down [...]

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to [...]

Two cab drivers met. “Hey,” asked one, “why did you paint one side of your cab red and the other side blue?”
“Well,” the other responded, “when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other.”

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it’s exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead [...]

Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think [...]

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, [...]

1. Tech Support calls “YOU” for help.
2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say “LOL”.
3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
4. You have called out someone’s screen name while making love to
your significant other.
5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so “we can hang out”.
6. Three [...]

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
“Hello?”
“Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
“Yes.”
“Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you [...]

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.”
“Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office.
At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red [...]

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. the ease in which they fit into our arms
5. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything [...]