Things Not to Put in a Resume Cover Letter
1. “I’m really keen to work for you – I hear the drugs are good.” 2. “I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately every company I have worked for has since closed down.” 3. “I’ll kill myself if I don’t get a job.” 4. “I know where you live.” 5. Any sentence beginning with [...]
16 Good Reasons For An Office On-Site Bar
While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the premises, there are some good arguments for changing that policy. Reasons for allowing drinking at work include: 1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It [...]
14 Best Excuses If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
1. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 2. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.” 3. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper” 4. “I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement [...]
So you want the day off from work?
Fair enough…let’s take a look at what you’re asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day AWAY from work, you have used up [...]
Differences between you and your boss
When you take a long time, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human. When doing something without being [...]
10 reasons studying is better than sex
10. You can usually find someone to do it with. 9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place, and pick up where you left off. 8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame. 7. When you open a book, you don’t have to worry about who else has opened [...]
How to annoy people in the computer lab
Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that [...]
How are college classes graded
Dept Of Statistics: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. Dept Of Psychology: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. Dept Of History: All students get the same grade they [...]
Differences between consulting and prostitution
* You work very odd hours. * You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. * You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money. * You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room. * You charge by the hour but your time can be [...]
How many college students does it take to change a light bulb?
Vanderbilt: Two–one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay the bill Princeton: Two–one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician Brown: Eleven–one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience Dartmouth: None–Hanover doesn’t have electricity Cornell: Two–One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under [...]