That was funny

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:

Leaps tall building in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Discusses policy with God.

PRESIDENT:

Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks with God.

EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool.
Talks with God if special request is approved.

VICE PRESIDENT:

Barely clears a Quonset hut.
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.

GENERAL MANAGER:

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings.
Is run over by locomotive.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.

MANAGER:

Runs into buildings.
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times.
Is not issued ammunition.
Can’t stay afloat with a life preserver.
Talks to walls.

TRAINEE:

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building.
Says “look at the choo-choo”.
Wets him/herself with a water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to him/herself.

SECRETARY:

Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth.
Freezes water with a single glance.
Is God.