That was funny

 You haven’t asked yet.

 I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

 Because I just love hearing this question.

 Just lucky, I guess.

 It gives my mother something to live for.

 My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole.

 I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.

 Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?

 I’m waiting until I get to be your age.

 It didn’t seem worth a blood test.

 I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.

 Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.

 My co-op board doesn’t allow spouses.

 I’d have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

 They just opened a great singles bar on my block.

 I wouldn’t want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

 I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo doll rituals.

 What? And lose all the money I’ve invested in running personal ads?

 I don’t want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

 Why aren’t you thin?

 I’m married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.