College Quips

* A student enters his dorm room and finds a note on his bed from
his roommate: “If I’m studying when you get back, please wake me.”
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* Ya know, it’s a wonder some of these “professional students”
don’t have ivy growing up their legs by the time they graduate.
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* Even in my day at the Univ of Maryland, people always stressed
a balanced diet. In the tradition of all the other engineering
students, I always made sure that I had a beer in each hand.
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* Lots of parents saw their kids graduate this year. I offered
one neighbor my congratulations on his son’s finally finishing
college. He said, “Yeah, and not a dollar too soon either.”
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* It was one of those proper mid-western colleges. All they gave
their basketball players was room and board, plus $2,700.00 a
week towards their books.
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* It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over
the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University
Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing.”
Twenty minutes later another announcement: “Will the twelve
hundred students who went to move 26 cars return to class.”