Top 10 things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like:
10. Hey! There’s a gift!
9. Well, well, well…
8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes that would’ve
7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.
6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season
though. There are lots of unexplained fires.
5. If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!
4. I love it — but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection
2. To think — I got this the year I vowed to give all my
gifts to charity.
And the No. 1 Thing to say about a Christmas gift you
1. “I really don’t deserve this.”