Christmas Gift

Top 10 things to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like:

10. Hey! There’s a gift!

9. Well, well, well…

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes that would’ve
fit.

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season
though. There are lots of unexplained fires.

5. If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!

4. I love it — but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection
Program.

2. To think — I got this the year I vowed to give all my
gifts to charity.

And the No. 1 Thing to say about a Christmas gift you
don’t like:

1. “I really don’t deserve this.”