That was funny

George was a thoughtful husband. He wanted to give his wife something special for her birthday which was coming up soon. As he sat on the edge of the bed, he watched his wife turning back and forth and looking at herself in the mirror. “Reta,” he said, “What would you like for your birthday?”
His [...]

Want to know if you’re, or someone you know is a gentleman?
1. In the company of feminists, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) Lovemaking
b) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
a) Your views about what you expect from [...]

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

As awkward as it was to share a train carriage with a male stranger, one woman decided to not let it bother her.
On the first night both the woman and man settled down for bed. After about an hour had passed the woman felt terribly cold and leaned over the top bunk and said to [...]

Before - You take my breath away.
After - I feel like I’m suffocating.
Before - Twice a night.
After - Twice a month.
Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation.
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.
Before - Ricky & Lucy.
After - Fred & Ethel.
Before - Saturday Night Live.
After - Monday Night [...]

One woman stops a taxi.
- To the airport, please.
After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says:
- You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today.
- Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant.
- Well, you haven’t arrived to the airport yet either.

DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.
ST. MOMMA’S WORT Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers [...]

In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman’s ultimate fantasy. 98.8% of the respondents said that a woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.
While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this [...]

Men are like….Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like ….Vacations. They never seem long enough.
Men are like….Bank machines.Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Men are like ….Weather. Nothing can be done about either one of them.
Men are like….Blenders. You need one but your not quite sure why.
Men are like….Cement. After getting [...]

Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:

When a heroic dog dies to save it’s master
The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
After wrecking [...]