That was funny

The bride came down the aisle.
When she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs by his side.
“What are your golf clubs doing here?” she asked indignantly.
He looked her right in the eye–and said, “Well, this isn’t going to take all day, is it?”

An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing.
“Do you think she’d marry me if I tell her I’m 45?” he asked a friend.
“Your chances are better,” said the friend, “if you tell her you’re 90.”

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, the pretty girl asked, “I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”
“Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking male clerk.
“That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk [...]

A little old man was escorted into the witness box. He was sworn in and asked by the lawyer to explain what happened.
After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident he finally got around to the meat of the case, “…and then she hit me with a maple leaf.”
“A maple leaf? [...]

Fine - I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up.
That’s Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. “That’s okay” means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you’ll pay for your mistake.
Nothing - The calm before the storm. [...]

Men can play with toys all their life.
Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.
Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.
Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.
Men can “do” their fingernails with a pocket knife.
Men’s bellies usually hide their large hips.
Chocolate [...]

George was a thoughtful husband. He wanted to give his wife something special for her birthday which was coming up soon. As he sat on the edge of the bed, he watched his wife turning back and forth and looking at herself in the mirror. “Reta,” he said, “What would you like for your birthday?”
His [...]

Want to know if you’re, or someone you know is a gentleman?
1. In the company of feminists, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) Lovemaking
b) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
a) Your views about what you expect from [...]

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

As awkward as it was to share a train carriage with a male stranger, one woman decided to not let it bother her.
On the first night both the woman and man settled down for bed. After about an hour had passed the woman felt terribly cold and leaned over the top bunk and said to [...]