The mystery of childbirth
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, “How was I born?” His mother awkwardly answers, “The stork brought you.” “Oh,” says the boy. “Well, how were you and Daddy born?” “Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma.” The boy begins his paper, “This report has been very [...]
Hot air balloon
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above [...]
How to catch an elephant in Africa
* MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. * EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise. * PROFESSORS OF MATHEMATICS will prove the existence [...]
Bra size calculator
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! (A} Almost Boobs… {B} Barely there. {C} Can’t Complain! {D} Dang! [...]
Blackmail
“Hey, Mom,” asked Ralph. “Will you lend me five dollars?” “Certainly not.” “If you do,” he went on, “I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.” The woman’s ears perked and, grabbing her pocketbook, she handed over the money. “Well? What did he say?” “He said, [...]
Adopted son
The backwoods couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called adn told them they had a wonderful Japanese boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way back home, they stopped by the local college to enroll in night courses. After [...]
Are you choking?
Out to lunch one day, the immigrants were having a fine time until Hymie began to gag. “I think I svallowed a bone,” Hymie gasped. “Hymie,” said Miklos, “are you choking?” “No, I am serious!”
41 facts about Washington
1. It is America’s coffee capital, with more coffee bean roasters per capita than any other state. 2. ‘The Wave’, a popular fan cheer for the past 25 years, was started by Husky fans at the University of Washington. 3. Adam Morrison, a Washington State native and Gonzaga University basketball star, leads the NCAA Division [...]
In-laws
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
Doctor’s help
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn’t help. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn’t do any good. On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a [...]