That was funny

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says “We are in Germany”. The others ask, “How do you know”, the German says, “Cuz’ it’s so cold”. Then [...]

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His new copilot is Chinese, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, “I don’t like Chinese.”
“No rike Chinese?” [...]

A man lunching at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said, “Chopsticks were provided only on request.”
“But,” the man countered, “if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn’t have to pay someone to wash all the forks.”
“True,” the waiter shot back, “but [...]

A German and an American werte having a rather heated arguement about the quality of their respective country’s brews. This went on for a good half hour when the German said: “Look. I’ll prove it to you”
Whereupon, he poured a couple of ounces of Bud into a specimin jar and sent it off to a [...]

Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when
they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign
posted that says, “Covert to Catholicism and get $10.”
One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign. His
friend turns to him and says, “Murray, what’s going on?”
“Abe,” replies Murray, [...]

1. AS WELCOME AS A SKUNK AT A LAWN PARTY.
Self-explanatory
2. TIGHTER THAN BARK ON A TREE.
Not very generous
3. BIG HAT, NO CATTLE.
All talk and no action
4. WE’VE HOWDIED BUT WE AIN’T SHOOK YET.
We’ve made a brief acquaintance but have not been formally introduced.
5. HE THINKS THE SUN CAME UP JUST TO HEAR HIM CROW.
He has [...]

1. You can have a woman president without electing her
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it
3. You can call Budweiser beer
4. You can be a crook and still be president
5. If you’ve got enough money you [...]

1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns
4. Glorious military history… well, until about 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside
6. Political stability
7. Flexible working [...]

1. It beats being an American.
2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
[...]

You know your from Manitoba, Canada, when….
1. You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
[...]