24 Things People Told Their Insurance Companies
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before I hit him. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intention. I thought my window was down, but I found [...]
My Rezimay
Deer Sur, I waunt to apply for the secritary job I seen in the paper. I can type real kwik wit one finggar and do sum Acounting 2. I think I am good on the fone and I am a pepole person. Pepole really seam to respond good to me. Im lookin for a jobb [...]
Unusual Experience Interviewing Prospective Employees
A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle. Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time. Candidate fell and broke arm during interview. Candidate announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewers office. [...]
10 Reasons to Go to Work Naked
1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!” 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants.” 4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse. [...]
Corporate Structure
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: Leaps tall building in a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Discusses policy with God. PRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a switch engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on [...]
Safe Fax
Q. Do I have to be married to have safe fax? A. Although married people fax often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day. Q. How do I go about faxing a complete stranger? A. Just ask them if they want to fax. If they do, they will give you their [...]
Performance Terms
Good Communication Skills – Spends lots of time on phone Average Employee – Not too bright Exceptionally Well Qualified – Made no major blunders yet Work Is First Priority – Too ugly to get a date Active Socially – Drinks a lot Family Is Active Socially – Spouse drinks, too Independent Worker – Nobody knows [...]
Understanding Your Paycheck
Gross pay – $1222.02 Income Tax – 244.40 Outgo Tax – 45.21 State Tax – 11.61 Interstate Tax – 61.10 County Tax – 6.11 City Tax – 12.22 Rural Tax – 4.44 Back Tax – 1.11 Front Tax – 1.16 Side Tax – 1.61 Up Tax – 2.22 Down Tax – 1.11 Tic-Tacs – 1.98 [...]
10 Things That Sound Dirty at Work
1. I need to whip it out by 5. 2. Mind if I use your laptop? 3. Just stick it in my box. 4. If I have to lick one more, I’ll gag. 5. I want it on my desk, NOW!!! 6. Hmmm… I think it’s out of fluid. 7. My equipment is so old, [...]
Company Changes
Dear Employee, As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older [...]