That was funny

1) Order the T-shirts for the Development team
2) Announce availability
3) Write the code
4) Write the manual
5) Hire a Product Manager
6) Spec the software (writing the specs after the code helps to ensure that the software meets the specifications)
7) Ship
Test (the customers are a big help here)
9) Identify bugs as [...]

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can’t afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3 - Apple’s new Macs that make you say “Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a [...]

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. “If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, ” boasts Gates, “you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour.” Bill Gates continued, “Or, [...]

Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate Users - People who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert Users - People who break other people’s computers.

Never marry a software engineer. Just have a look at this conversation and then decide Yourself.
Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks? Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree. Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about [...]

My husband and I are both in an Internet business, but he’s the one who truly lives, eat, and breathes computers.
I finally realized how bad it had gotten when I was scratching his back one day.
“No, not there,” he directed. “Scroll down…”

A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message.
“Due to lack of maintenance,” [...]

* I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
* I will stop sending email to my roommate.
* I resolve to work with neglected children…my own.
* I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my email.
* When I subscribe to a news group or [...]

One of Microsoft’s finest techs was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then [...]

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
Compress was something you did to garbage not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public, You’d be in jail for awhile!
Log [...]