That was funny

16 Using their e-mail address, post a request for penpals to the alt.prison.bodypiercing newsgroup.
15 Three words: electric mouse buzzer.
14 Assign them to the new “Heaven’s Gate” project.
13 “Look, Bill Gates!! Ha! Made ya look!”
12 Put them in the same room with a member of the opposite sex.
11 “Have you got Prince Albert in [...]

PCMCIA People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can’t See It
DOS [...]

Earlier this week, Gregory Nemitz and a handful of space enthusiasts proposed creating special
domains, including “.luna” and “.moon,” for Web sites based on the moon. He wasn’t kidding:
And one of our “Ten laws the Net needs” involves a special “.xxx” domain for pornographic
sites. But why stop there? Here are some new proposed domains, and what [...]

NEW: Different colors from previous version.
ALL NEW: Software is not compatible with previous version.
UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition.
ADVANCED DESIGN: Upper management doesn’t understand it.
NO MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix.
BREAKTHROUGH: It finally booted on the first try.
DESIGN SIMPLICITY: Developed on a shoe-string budget.
UPGRADED: Did not work the first time.
UPGRADED AND IMPROVED: Did not work the [...]

1) Order the T-shirts for the Development team
2) Announce availability
3) Write the code
4) Write the manual
5) Hire a Product Manager
6) Spec the software (writing the specs after the code helps to ensure that the software meets the specifications)
7) Ship
Test (the customers are a big help here)
9) Identify bugs as [...]

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can’t afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3 - Apple’s new Macs that make you say “Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a [...]

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. “If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, ” boasts Gates, “you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour.” Bill Gates continued, “Or, [...]

Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate Users - People who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert Users - People who break other people’s computers.

Never marry a software engineer. Just have a look at this conversation and then decide Yourself.
Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks? Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree. Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about [...]

My husband and I are both in an Internet business, but he’s the one who truly lives, eat, and breathes computers.
I finally realized how bad it had gotten when I was scratching his back one day.
“No, not there,” he directed. “Scroll down…”