Jokes for the 'Computer humor' Category
A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: “Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS”.
“G.O.O.D” answered his wife.
10) Lower corner of screen has the words “Etch-a-sketch” on it.
9) It’s celebrity spokesman is that “Hey Vern!” guy.
In order to start it you need some jumper cables and a friend’s car.
7) It’s slogan is “Pentium: redefining mathematics”.
6) The “quick reference” manual is 120 pages long.
5) Whenever you turn it on, all the [...]
A doctor, a lawyer and a programmer were discussing if it’s better to have a wife or a girlfriend.
Lawyer:
“A girlfriend is better. If you divorce your wife, that’s causing a lot of problems.”
Doctor:
“A wife is better. That’s secure so you don’t have to worry so much.”
Programmer:
“You need both. When the wife thinks you’re with your [...]
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt [...]
How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, that’s a hardware problem!
A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into [...]
Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX:
Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a
program?
Abbott: Yes, that’s correct.
Costello: No, what is it?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: So, which is the one?
Abbott: No. ‘which’ is used to find the program.
Costello: Stop this. Who are you?
Abbott: Use ‘who am i’ not ‘who r yoo’. [...]
1. Instead of getting a “General Protection Fault” error, your PC would get “Ferklempt”.
2. Hanukkah screen savers will have “Flying Dreidels”.
3. Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
4. After your computer dies, you would dispose of it within 24 hours.
5. Your “Start” button would be replaced with a “Let’s go! I’m not [...]
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was “GoofyMickeyMinniePluto” and so I asked why it was so long.
“Because,” my son explained, “they said it had to have at least four characters.”
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