That was funny

* If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE.
* If your wristwatch has more computing power than a 486DX-50.
* If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
* If you can name 6 Star [...]

I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
I will get dressed before noon.
I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even [...]

1. A friend calls and says “How are you? Your phones have been busy for a year!”
2. You forget how to work the TV remote control.
3. You see something funny and scream “LOL, LOL.”
4. You meet the mailman at the curb and swear [...]

That’s weird…
It’s never done that before.
It worked yesterday.
How is that possible?
It must be a hardware problem.
What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?
There is something funky in your data.
I haven’t touched that module in weeks!
You must have the wrong version.
It’s just some unlucky coincidence.
I can’t test everything!
THIS can’t be the source of [...]

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Insist on [...]

10. They ask for all their money in quarters.
9. They’re not sure what season, or year it is.
8. They’re best friends names are Super Mario, Pac-man, and Sonic (if they have real-life friends).
7. The electric company and the toy store sends them birthday cards.
6. Big falling blocks and hot lava pits haunt their dreams.
5. Their [...]

The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: “Can’t you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!”
The boy replies back: “Darling, I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings, we only worry about [...]

Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting “F1 F1″ and nobody understood it.