That was funny

High school started before 8am, but now anything before noon is considered “early”.
You have more beer than food in your fridge.
Weekends start on Thursday.
6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.
You know many different ways to cook ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese.
The health center gives out free condoms, and people [...]

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”
3. If it is a math/science [...]

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. However, they decided to party instead. So, when they went to the test, they decided to tell the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study.
The professor told [...]

Sometimes it seems that what we study in college doesn’t have much relation to what we end up doing for a living. Following is a list of various degrees, as well as what graduates actually end up doing after earning them.
Computer Science
College
Spend most of your time in a dimly lit lab, playing XTrek and drinking [...]

City of LAHigh School Math Proficiency Exam
Name:________________ Gang:________________
1. Johnny has an AK-47 with a 40 round clip. If he missed 6 out of 10 shots, and shoots 11 times at each drive-by, how many drive-by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?
2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. He sells an 8-ball to [...]

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked [...]

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will [...]

College Entrance Exam: For Football Players
You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly to Qualify.
1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions. OR Give the first name of PIERRE Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) [...]

You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly to Qualify.
1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions. OR Give the first name of PIERRE Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) build a bridge (b) sail [...]