That was funny

Cartman: I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!

Stan: That fat bitch won’t let us.
Mrs. Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Stan: I said, “Rabbits eat lettuce.”
Mrs. Crabtree: Oh… Well, they certainly do.

Chef: What the hell do you think you’re doing in school eating Salisbury steak? Go find him, dammit!

Mrs. Cartman: You want some Cheesy Poofs, too?
Cartman: Yeah, I want [...]

Bombs are flying
People are dying
Children are crying
Politicians are lying too.
Cancer is killing
Texaco’s spilling
The whole world’s gone to hell
But how are you?
I’m super
Thanks for asking
All things considered
I couldn’t be better I must say
I’m feeling super
No, nothing bugs me
Everything is super when you’re
Don’t you think I look cute in this hat
I’m so sorry
Mr. Cripple
But I just can’t [...]

Sheila: Times have changed
Our kids are getting worse
They won’t obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse!
Sharon: Should we blame the government?
Liane: Or blame society?
Dads: Or should we blame the images on TV?
Sheila: No, blame Canada
Everyone: Blame Canada
Sheila: With all their beady little eyes
And flappin’ heads so full of lies
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Sheila: We [...]

Kevin: My waffle’s done! My waffle’s done!
Mrs. McCormick: Now, Kevin, we ain’t got enough for everybody. You have to split that with your brother.
Cartman: Oh, Jesus, are you fucking kidding me?

Cartman: Kenny’s family is so poor, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage.

Cartman: Yeah! I want Cheesy Poofs!

Cartman: Poor people [...]

Cartman:: How ’bout we sing, ‘Kyle’s Mom is a stupid bitch’ in D Minor.

Cartman:: That movie has warped my fragile little mind.

Cartman:: I’m not fat. I’m big-boned.
Stan:: No, Jay Leno’s chin is big-boned. You are a big, fat ass.

Stan:: You can’t just show up to a Civil War re-enactment dressed up like General Lee, FatAss.
Cartman:: [...]

Cartman: You so much as TOUCH kitty’s ass, and I’ll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants.
Stan: Jesus, Cartman.
Cartman: Well, I’m just sayn’, man, seriously, don’t mess with kitty, man.

Mr. Garrison:: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my [...]