That was funny

Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.
Son, if you really want [...]

“Let us all bask in television’s warm glowing warming glow.”

“Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.”
“And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power,
the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which
is just a pipe dream.”  
“Because sometimes the only way you can feel good Simpsons
brain about yourself is [...]

“Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything,
Kent. 14% of people know that.”
“Don’t worry, son. I’m sure he’s up in heaven right now laughing
it up with all the other celebrities: John Dilinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph
Stalin.” (on death of cat).
“And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides,
[...]

“Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy
all kinds of useful things like…love!”
“Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend
the rules a little in order to hold our own.”
“Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first
time in my life, everything is absolutely [...]

15. Don’t worry, Homer. Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year. -God
14. Oh, everything’s too damned expensive these days. This bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody’s a sinner! Except this guy. – Homer
13. Suppose we’ve chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we’re just [...]