That was funny

Cartman:: How ’bout we sing, ‘Kyle’s Mom is a stupid bitch’ in D Minor.

Cartman:: That movie has warped my fragile little mind.

Cartman:: I’m not fat. I’m big-boned.
Stan:: No, Jay Leno’s chin is big-boned. You are a big, fat ass.

Stan:: You can’t just show up to a Civil War re-enactment dressed up like General Lee, FatAss.
Cartman:: [...]

Cartman: You so much as TOUCH kitty’s ass, and I’ll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants.
Stan: Jesus, Cartman.
Cartman: Well, I’m just sayn’, man, seriously, don’t mess with kitty, man.

Mr. Garrison:: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my [...]

“Let us all bask in television’s warm glowing warming glow.”

“Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.”
“And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power,
the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which
is just a pipe dream.”  
“Because sometimes the only way you can feel good Simpsons
brain about yourself is [...]

“Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything,
Kent. 14% of people know that.”
“Don’t worry, son. I’m sure he’s up in heaven right now laughing
it up with all the other celebrities: John Dilinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph
Stalin.” (on death of cat).
“And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides,
[...]

“Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy
all kinds of useful things like…love!”
“Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons sometimes have to bend
the rules a little in order to hold our own.”
“Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first
time in my life, everything is absolutely [...]

15. Don’t worry, Homer. Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year. -God
14. Oh, everything’s too damned expensive these days. This bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody’s a sinner! Except this guy. - Homer
13. Suppose we’ve chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we’re just [...]