50 Homer Simpson jokes
Operator! Give me the number for 911! Oh, so they have internet on computers now! Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love! Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman. [...]
Quotes from South Park Season 1
Cartman: I’m not fat, I’m big-boned! Stan: That fat bitch won’t let us. Mrs. Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?! Stan: I said, “Rabbits eat lettuce.” Mrs. Crabtree: Oh… Well, they certainly do. Chef: What the hell do you think you’re doing in school eating Salisbury steak? Go find him, dammit! Mrs. Cartman: You want some [...]
Morbo quotes
Linda: “And so with two weeks left in the campaign, the question on everyone’s mind is, who will be the president of Earth? Jack Johnson or bitter rival John Jackson. Two terrific candidates, Morbo?” Morbo: “All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo!” Linda: “The sheer drama of this election has driven voter turnout [...]
South Park – Big Gay Al – I’m super
Bombs are flying People are dying Children are crying Politicians are lying too. Cancer is killing Texaco’s spilling The whole world’s gone to hell But how are you? I’m super Thanks for asking All things considered I couldn’t be better I must say I’m feeling super No, nothing bugs me Everything is super when you’re [...]
South Park – Blame Canada
Sheila: Times have changed Our kids are getting worse They won’t obey their parents They just want to fart and curse! Sharon: Should we blame the government? Liane: Or blame society? Dads: Or should we blame the images on TV? Sheila: No, blame Canada Everyone: Blame Canada Sheila: With all their beady little eyes And [...]
Futurama quotes – Part 4
Bender: “One of you will have to fill in for me while I’m gone.” Professor Farnsworth: “Better yet, I’ll build someone to fill in for you. Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monsters with freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal…” The boss: “Get a load of ball bearings on this guy.” [...]
Futurama quotes – Part 3
Professor: Being captain is about intuition and heart. A good captain can’t have either one. That’s why cold, logical Bender is perfect for the job. Bender: Well, I do think of human life as expendable. Paul: If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey, I don’t wanna be right. Give a hoot-o Don’t [...]
Cartman quotes
Kevin: My waffle’s done! My waffle’s done! Mrs. McCormick: Now, Kevin, we ain’t got enough for everybody. You have to split that with your brother. Cartman: Oh, Jesus, are you fucking kidding me? Cartman: Kenny’s family is so poor, they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage. Cartman: Yeah! I want [...]
Futurama quotes – Part 2
Leela: Hey, you know what might be a hoot? Professor: No. Why would I know that? Fry: I want to see the edge of the universe. Amy: Ooh, that sounds cool. Zoidberg: It’s funny. You live in the universe by you never do these things ’til someone comes to visit. Fry: So, there’s an infinite [...]
Futurama quotes – Part 1
Fry: “Maybe he has a parasite.” Hermes: “Maybe he is a parasite.” Bender to Zoidberg: “You’re looking less nuts, crabby.” Leela: “It’s amazing that your people can fall in love so fast.” Zoidberg: “Love? That word is unknown here. I’m simply looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material.” Fry: “You [...]