Being old has some perks

There is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.
Things that you buy now won’t wear out.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.
You can quit trying to hold in your stomach no matter who walks into the room.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them anyway.
You can sing along with elevator music.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guy on the television.
Your eyes won’t get too much worse.
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
People call you at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you???? “
You can get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You can eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon.
In a hostage situation you are the most likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run — anywhere. You are no longer viewed as a hypochondriac.
You are no longer viewed as a hypochondriac.

Chocolate as art, Cute baby stills, Early computer and software ads, Mother-in-law’s choice, Amuzing sandwiches, Explain THAT to your insurance company, Food sculptures, Windows, In-laws, Computers contrast, Worlds smartest man, 7 things that would happen if you were a computer, Talented engineer, 30 signs that technology has taken over your life, Microsoft landing, Golfing, 19 recommendations from men to women, Careful what you wish for, If men were in charge of weddings, Two new additions to periodic table of elements, 29 rules of dating for women, Women talking, men hearing, Doctor’s help, How to read personal ads from women, Guest at a hotel, First date, Death Row in Women’s Prison, 12 things men know, Top male occupations, Car accident, What guys really mean, Las Vegas, Why married couples do not have sex, Letter from Wal-Mart, Dusty Underwear, Men and Women, Soup, Anniversary, University, New studio, Solid marriage, At the altar, Chances to get married, One kiss, Injury, 35 Predictions from 50’s, Top 10 signs your company is going to downsize, Top 10 signs you have eaten too much, 23 headlines of 2050, 53 signs you might have a drinking problem, 39 Headlines of the year, Let’s kill a bicycle repairman, 36 world’s smallest books, Commuting to work, Florist mixup, Job interview, Jamaica, The Weigh Scale, An expensive barbie doll, Psychology class, New driving test, Beautiful nature? No, just food, 34 Pacific Northwest jokes, 16 Montana rules, You know it’s July in Florida, Public school teacher, Great experiment, Laboratory, Thermometer, Poor man’s virus, Being old has some perks, Wrong bank, Definition of words used by women, 21 reasons why men are happier, Thoughtful husband, Four food groups for students, Gentlemen quiz, Blonde at a strip mall, Car hangers, Beach exercise, Wal-Mart announces house brand wine, Journey on a train carriage, Divorced barbie, Anxious cab driver, 75 things to do in a car, 8 Ways to be annoying in Australia, 554 ways to be annoying, Before and after marriage, Stoping a taxi, Eleven new drugs for women, Top ten things not to say on your Anniversary, The ten most wanted men, Think you have a cold day?, Secluded vacation, Witty ads from around the world, Cute babies, Perfect timing!, 15 ways to tell if someone is a teenager, Texas justice, 12 Lawyer Joke, Josh Groban | Noel

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