Are You An Engineer?

* If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE.
* If your wristwatch has more computing power than a 486DX-50.
* If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
* If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes.
* If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
* If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.
* If you look forward to the holidays only to put together the kids’ toys.
* If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
* If you window shop at Radio Shack
* If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
* If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera’s flash attachment.
* If you don’t even know where the cover to your personal computer is.
* If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven.
* If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
* If you own ‘Official Star Trek’ anything.
* If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project.
* If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor.
* If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
* If you truly believe aliens are living among us.
* If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
* If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
* If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
* If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
* If you have more toys than your kids.
* If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
* If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
* If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight.
* If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don’t work, and you rush up to the front to fix it.
* If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.
* If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel, and have seen most of the shows already
* If you can type 70 words a minute but can’t read your own handwriting.
* If people groan at the party when you pick out the music.
* If you can’t remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.
* If you did the sound system for your senior prom.
* If your checkbook always balances.
* If your wrist watch has more buttons than a telephone.
* If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
* If you thought the real heroes of Apollo 13 were the mission controllers.
* If you think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they didn’t get enough sleep.
* If you spend more on your home computer than your car.
* If you know what http:/ stands for.
* If you’ve ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio.
* If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.
* If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate (or Chinese, pizza, beer, etc).
* If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
* If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage.