Answering Machine Messages
2. Hi. Now you say something.
3. Hi, Iâ€™m not at home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
4. Hello. Iâ€™m Davidâ€™s answering machine. What are you?
5. Hi! Johnâ€™s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and Iâ€™ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hello, You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their pictures taken. If youâ€™re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
7. This is not an answering machine.. This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and Iâ€™ll think about returning your call.
8. Hi. I am probably home. Iâ€™m avoiding someone I donâ€™t like. Leave me a message, and if I donâ€™t call back, itâ€™s you.
9. Hi, this is George. Iâ€™m sorry I canâ€™t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
10. If you are a burglar, then weâ€™re at home cleaning our weapons right now and canâ€™t answer the phone. Otherwise, we probably arenâ€™t home and it is safe to leave us a message.
11. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
12. Hello, youâ€™ve reached Jim and Helga. We canâ€™t pick up phone right now, because weâ€™re doing something we really enjoy. Helga likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right, real slowly. So leave a message, and when weâ€™re done brushing our teeth, weâ€™ll get back to you.