23 headlines of 2050

  1. Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten Crops, Livestock
  2. Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen
  3. Great and Benevolent Galactic Ruler Reveals That Anal Probes Were
  4. “Just For Fun”
  5. Mother Monica Dies: Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums Overcame Lurid Past
  6. With US President
  7. Wealthy Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome Young Actor. “This
  8. Is True Love,” He Beams.
  9. Construction Begins On Grenada War Memorial In D.C.
  10. Cody, Cassidy Gifford Elude Authorities. Drug-Crazed Crime Spree Continues
  11. President “Bonecrusher” Jones to Face Chief Justice “Mad Dog” Ortega
  12. In Cage Match
  13. Pope Phil II Settles Custody Battle With Ex-Wife
  14. Upcoming NFL Draft Likely to Focus On Mutants
  15. Younger Generation’s Music Provokes Outrage of Elders
  16. D.C. Zoo to Receive Rare Cow
  17. Authentic Year 2000 Chad Sells For $6.9 Million at Sotheby’s
  18. Nursing Home Lawsuit Case: Clinton Denies Candy Striper’s Allegations
  19. Court Clears
  20. AOLTimeWarnerGE-DisneyCiscoFordRJR-NabiscoExxon-Mobil of Monopoly Charges
  21. 50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss
  22. Baby Conceived Naturally
  23. It Wasn’t the Cigarettes – It Was the Ashtrays